So This Is Christmas

It's funny how Christmas is so exciting to me and yet it also carries an element of sadness.  The element of sadness comes in because I can feel alone, and at Christmas it's just highlighted so much more. All the Christmas songs everywhere, all the movies everywhere, I mean is anyone NOT in love at Christmastime?? I like those things, no I love those things, but they don't help me much in this area.

I struggle with this.

I struggle with wondering if loneliness is okay to feel as a Christian. I've talked (not recently) to my brother John about this and he doesn't think there's anything wrong with feeling loneliness, it's just when it consumes you and begins defining you that it's a problem. That brings me comfort. It does not, however, give me peace about feeling lonely.

As Christians, we have everything we need for life and godliness. We are whole and complete in Christ. We are already all these things and yet there is a sanctification process. I've heard it stated multiple times that we live in an 'already but not yet' Kingdom. I agree whole heartedly with that and it makes complete sense to me. But I still don't really think Christians should be lonely. It just seems like such a selfish emotion, maybe that's my problem with it. When I feel lonely I get angry at myself because I shouldn't be lonely for a mate, I should be longing for Jesus. And yet He's clearly placed this desire within me and spoken words to me about whomever "he" is...see my dilemma?

Maybe my frustration simply lies in that I find myself looking forward to marriage and having a family so much more this time of year than I do any other time of year. As a singleton, my focus should be on God, the Lover of my soul, not what could potentially be in my life, but what is in my life.-Jesus, my wonderful family, my nephews, amazing friends, my great church.

I guess what it all comes down to is that at the end of the day, I drive home by myself to my own bedroom and lay down in my own bed...and sometimes it's cold in there.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

And I'm completely swamped!!!

But I do miss you blogosphere...

I will find time for you soon!

Tennessee

Well we made it!

Yesterday my brother Luke, his wife Heather, their two boys Noah & Declan and myself set out for my Aunt Karen & Uncle Dan's house in south east Tennessee. 

Here's a rundown of the trip:

Time left the house-5:04am

Time got onto the interstate after getting gas-5:24am

Distance travelled in miles-683

Distance travelled in hours-13

Number of stops made-6

Average time of stops for children to run around in minutes-18

Number of stops made and the gas tank was refilled-3

Number of status updates to Facebook made via my phone-6

States we were in yesterday-Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee

Number of states whose liscence plates were seen on drive-22 + 2 Canadian Territories = 24

Breakdown of number of states liscense plates seen-
Alabama-4
Florida-5
Georgia-3
Illinois-countless
Indiana-countless
Iowa-7
Kentucky-countless
Maine-5
Missouri-4
Mississippi-2
Michigan-11
Minnesota-2
North Carolina-4
Oklahoma-4
Ohio-7
Ontario, Canada-3
Pennsylvania-1
South Carolina-2
Saskatchewan, Canada-1
Tennesee-countless
Utah-1
Wisconsin-countless
Washington-2
West Virginia-3

Hardest city name to pronounce-Nlix

Best road name-Sugar Limb Road

Foreign cities passed-Athens, London, Somerset, Paris

Best hotel name-Relax Inn

Things I forgot I knew about the south-They love christmas almost as much as they love fireworks.

Most confusing car-The Ford Taurus with 4 Mac stickers.  It just seems wrong putting Mac stickers on a Ford Taurus.

Best bumper sticker-There was an escort taxi service vehicle with "WARNING! ERRATIC LANE CHANGES" covering the entire rear window.  And it did erratically change lanes repeatedly and for no real reason.

Prettiest city-Once again goes to Louisville, Kentucky.  Who knew it was so pretty there?!?  Of course I forgot to take pictures of it because I was too busy looking at it.  Something to aim for on the trip back I guess.

Funniest roadside sign-"Watch For Falling Rocks!" followed by "Move All Damaged Vehicles To The Side Of The Road Immediately"  as if by chance you survived a massive rock falling off a mountain and onto your car that you would be in any sort of shape to then physically push your car WITH the rock on it to the side of the road.

Time pulled into Uncle Dan & Aunt Karen's driveway-6:21pm (time adjusted to central time zone.  it was 7:21pm in TN time)

Number of tacos consumed by entire family at Taco Tuesday .79 taco night-26

Carpe Diem, or something...

I need to get out more.

Not that I'm sheltered per se, but I'm just home too much.

I like being home.  I'm a homebody at heart.  But I also would like to be married at some point in my life.  And what do I think, that "he's" just going to walk in my house one night while I'm sitting on the couch in sweats watching Grey's Anatomy and profess his love for me while I'm wiping my spilt hot chocolate off the cat that's sleeping in my lap??

I don't think so.

I'm not sure how it happened that I'm not going out and about anymore.  I used to always have a jam packed calendar.  I still feel busy, but it's with things like reading, laundry, my nephews, work and the Fox Fall Lineup.  Nothing social.  Well, I guess there's also areas of serving that I feel help to keep me busy that could be considered social but aren't really, such as greeting at church, teaching sunday school to the 4-6 year olds, going through homegroup leadership training, transcribing the words that come on Sunday's, currently I'm also attending rehearsals for Carols By Candlelight, Sunday lunches (Pleasant Prairie has lunches every week after the meeting for the SOW students and all the Trinity students we get that a lot of singles in the church also go to, which now that I think about it probably could be considered social), giving rides to various SOW students who are from another country and need help getting around. 

See, I lead a full life. 

Not to mention that I'm attempting to make my bed everyday, that alone requires quite a bit of effort.

I think somewhere along the line something happened.  Something like all my friends getting married so now they do married people things and there's a new younger generation of single people now who just don't think to invite me to do things and go places.  So I sit at home.  I'm not trying to sound down and out, like I said, I do enjoy being at home, especially since I live with my brother Luke and his wife Heather and their two boys.  It's easy to just wrap my life up in theirs and tell them to go out all the time and I stay home with the boys.  And I do love doing that.  But I think I need some sort of balance.

So I feel as if I'm re-entering the hustle and bustle of single life.  At least I'd like to think so.

I still have to convince all the youngsters to invite me out! 

And I need to get used to having a social life again, which would most likely mean not going to bed at 8:30 or 9 on any given night and that 10pm should no longer be considered way past bedtime. 

I only hope my almost 31 year old body can do it!

Waiting

There's this person, well this boy...man actually, who's caught my attention. 

I don't want to be a dumb girl.  I want to be a wise woman.

I pray about this a lot.  About a month or so ago, God very clearly spoke to me.  All he said was "wait".  That's it.  Not "yes, but wait", not "no, but wait", not "well, maybe, but wait".  Just "wait".

This is hard.  Not the waiting, I'm okay with that part.  But the whole part about waiting and not thinking/dreaming/worrying/speculating part.  I think I'm doing okay so far, but it's hard to keep myself in check.  So mostly I just keep praying.  When this individual pops into my head, I instantly turn my focus to Him and talk to Him.  I just want to honor the Lord so badly.  And when emotions and the heart get involved, it just gets all fuzzy.

Last week I got an email from a lady in my church.  She said that while she was spending time with the Lord that morning He had put me on her heart.  As she began to pray for me, God gave her three verses that she felt were very specifically for me.  They are as follows:

'Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.'
-Psalm 27:14

'Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.'
-Psalm 31:24

'I have told you these things,
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart!
I have overcome the world.'
-John16:33

There's a movie who's name I don't remember, but there's a line in it that says--

"I am waiting.  So I sit.  Silent as a cup."

Me too.

Save Money At Christmas

I love this.

And I Didn't Even Have Pepperoni or Green Roast Beef!

Boy did I have a crazy dream last night!

Before I get into it, I would like all of you out in the Blogosphere to know that I am going to Georgia for Thanksgiving. This is relevent in understanding maybe a little teensy part of the insanity that's to follow. It's also important to know that my brother's name is Luke and he's married to Heather and they have two boys named Noah(3 years) and Declan(18 months). I live with them. Okay, I think that's everything, so buckle up tight and please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. And away we go!

As the dream started out, I was at my house. Except it wasn't my real house, the only house I've ever seen that somewhat resembled this house is Edward Cullen's house, except it wasn't Edward's house, it was slightly different. Wow...how's that for confusing!

So, I'm at my house. I'm alone and I get to thinking that it would be super fun to have all the School of Worship kids over for a night of hanging out and all worshiping together. So I call Teresa, who thinks it is a GREAT idea! Somehow without calling anybody, everyone who I want to come knows about it. And it's tonight! (if only real life was just as easy!)

Seeing as I'm about to have a big party, I decide to look in the pantry for what treats I can prepare. Now, the pantry and the back hall and the basement are all pretty much EXACTLY like the house I grew up in. I'm in the pantry and literally the only thing lining all the shelves are boxes of chocolate pudding. This is normal to me in my dream. As I'm on a stepstool getting multiple boxes of chocolate pudding from the top shelf, Matt Gainsford pops his head in the pantry and says, "Ello, anythin I can help with?" To which I reply "Yes actually, could you start warming some milk on the stovetop for me?" So he goes about warming milk. After I fill my apron (yes, I was wearing an apron) with as many boxes of chocolate pudding as I can, I come out of the pantry. I dump them all on the kitchen table and ask Matt if he'd mind making the pudding so that I can go clean up the downstairs for the party and then go get ready myself. He agrees.

I go down in to the basement (at the house I grew up in the basement was finished and it was my dad's office/gym/hang out area.) and all my dad's stuff is set up exactly the way I remember it being when I was a kid, except for 4 large white leather sofas. I go around fluffing pillows, lighting candles, that sort of thing, then I sit down at the piano and tune it. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) After I tune it, I go to the second story of the house to my bedroom. This room isn't in the house I grew up in, I'm now in the Edwardish part of the house, and it is AWESOME!!! I don't realize it in the dream because it's just my normal room to me. As I'm getting ready I have a fleeting thought that I'm leaving in the morning to go to Georgia for Thanksgiving.

I go back down to the basement and everyone is there already. They're all eating chocolate pudding while sitting on my dad's white leather couches. I sternly warn them that if anyone get's chocolate pudding on my dad's white leather couches they will have to buy him new ones. They all stand up and continue to eat their pudding.

That's all I actually dreamed about the party. We'll call that Part One.

On to Part Two...

I wake up in my (AWESOME!) room. Luke is banging on my bedroom door that we're leaving in 2 minutes and I better not make everyone late because we're on a strict time schedule. I get up, put on Ugg boots (I don't actually own a pair in real life) and go down to the garage. Luke and Noah are in the van, Heather and Declan are in the car, and Spencer Towle, Amanda Thayer, Sarah Hall and Jose Vargas are in the LLCC church van that has a trailer attached. I get in the van with Luke and Noah. Oh yeah--it's also important to know that all I'm wearing is a swimsuit and Ugg boots (LOL). As we're going down the long winding wooded driveway, I ask Luke why Heather and Declan aren't riding with us in the van. He tells me that it's because we are going straight to Georgia but Heather and Declan are going to stop off at Detriot and spend 3 nights there. I ask why everyone else in the church van are with us and he says they're going to New York for New Years Eve and Spencer was nervous about driving through Chicago so he was just going to caravan with us through Chicago and then we'd all go our seperate ways.

For some reason all of this made perfect sense to me, even though it was Thanksgiving, not New Years Eve and Heather doesn't know anybody in Detroit.

As we're driving though a maze of country roads (we lived really far out in the county), I realize that I didn't pack anything and all I had was the swimsuit and Ugg boots I was wearing. I told Luke we had to go back because I didn't have anything with me. He got really mad at me and told me that it was my own fault. I started crying and told him I couldn't spend a whole week visiting family I haven't seen in years wearing the same thing every day, especially when it was a bathing suit! He just kept getting angrier and angrier until finally I annoyed him enough that he turned around and started heading back to the house. Heather and Noah were behind us, and everyone else was behind them, and they all followed us back to the house. When we got there, the garage door was wide open and Luke was super glad that I forgot to pack then because he didn't want all his stuff stolen out of the garage.

So I go up to my room and pack (for some reason I don't change). I go in the bathroom to get my toothbrush and all my stuff is on the floor. Confused I open the medicine cabinet and all that's in there are a bunch of bottles of Brut aftershave. I turn to go out into the hall and Mark Moore is coming down the hall towards the bathroom. (Mark is the pastor at Lakeshore Tabernacle. I knew him growing up and he lived with my family for a period of time, although I'm not sure if he actually uses Brut aftershave or not) I give him a big hug and ask what he's doing there and he tells me that Luke had asked him to stay at our house while we were gone. I go back into the bathroom, grab my toothbrush off the floor and go back out to the van. We drive off.

The End.

Ghosts and Other Nonsense

My coworker believes in ghosts. Fine. Whatever.

The thing is, she believes our office is haunted. This annoys me to no end. Mainly because she REFUSES to do certain things that are required of her in her job because of this belief/fear. I am constantly butting heads with her over this. I try to see her point of view, but it's extremely hard for me to relate to because I do not believe in ghosts!

In the end, after trying to talk sense into her, I usually end up doing whatever she was supposed to do but was too afraid to do. Today I decided enough was enough. I told her that she needed to face her fear and to go do her freaking job! (I said it nicer though, although the sheer absurdity of having to try and talk rationally to her had me shaking and trying to keep myself from grabbing her by the shoulders to try and shake some sense into her) She still refused. So did I. My other coworker, who also thinks "ghost girl" is ridiculous, ended up going and doing what needed to be done because she thought we were both being stupid.

Fine. If not doing someone else's work because they're afraid of a non-existant ghost makes me stupid, so be it.

I'm stupid then.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready!

Haul out the holly;
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again!
Fill up the stocking,
I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now!

For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute,
Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet!
Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute!
It hasn't snowed a single flurry,
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry;
So climb down the chimney;
Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen!

Slice up the fruitcake;
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough!
For I've grown a little leaner,
Grown a little colder,
Grown a little sadder,
Grown a little older,
And I need a little angel
Sitting on my shoulder,
Need a little Christmas now!

Haul out the holly;
Well, once I taught you all to live each living day!
Fill up the stocking,
But Auntie Man, it's one week from Thanksgiving Day now.

But we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute,
Candles in the window,
Carols at the spinet!
Yes, we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute!

It hasn't snowed a single flurry,
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry;
So climb down the chimney;
Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen!

Slice up the fruitcake;
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough!

For we need a little music,
Need a little laughter,
Need a little singing
Ringing through the rafter,
And we need a little snappy
"Happy ever after,"
Need a little Christmas now!

Need a little Christmas now!

It's Encouraging

To me that boys are just as confused by girls as girls are by boys.

There's some strange comfort in knowing we're all in the soup together.

My Quasi-Christmas List

Losing an entire blog entry has got to be one of THEE most annoying and frustrating things ever!

Let me try and recapture what was just lost into oblivion...

I have decided to not spend money. This has been going on since August 1st and is going quite well.

In "not spending money", I have had to come to terms with 'wants' and 'needs'.

Needs are obvious-food, clothing, shelter (although sometimes I wonder about food and clothing as needs. I find that a lot of people justify unnecessary spending on something that is definitely a 'want' simply because it falls into the category of food or clothing)

I have found that in not spending money I think about what I truly want more than when I was spending money because somehow things have more value and are more special now then when I'd just throw my money around and get everything I wanted all the time.

In that vein, I would like to compile a list of things that are cleary 'wants', simply because I would like somewhere for there to be a complete list and not just thoughts in my head, you know, in case I suddenly come into some money or something.

So without further ado and in no particular order, here is my list thus far:

*Glee Season 1 Soundtrack
*Adult Footie Pajamas
*Friends Seasons 5, 6 and 7 (these are all I'm missing to make my series complete)
*Socks without holes (or sewn toes for that matter)
*A blowdryer that doesn't spark when in use (I live on the wild side)
*My magazine subscriptions to Martha Stewart and Better Homes & Gardens (both are finito come January)
*A new lightbulb for my nightlight in the bathroom (it's amazing how accustomed to these things one becomes, however still not a need!)

I think that's all for now, it's hard to just sit here and try to think of things I've been trying to remember for a few months. I'm sure this will be getting added too.

<3

oh dear lord...

I was just helping an older black gentleman(OBG) at work. We had the following conversation.



OBG: "You have any babies?"

Me: "Uhh...no."

OBG: "I know it's rude to ask a lady, but how old are ya?"

Me: (laughing) "Thirty"

OBG: "What?!?!? Thirty and no babies?!? How'd ya manage that???"

Me: "Quite easily really..."

OBG: "Don't ya have a man?"

Me: "No, but thanks for asking"

OBG: "Well why dontcha??"

Me: "I don't know...haven't found the right one yet I guess."

OBG: "Do ya go to church?"

Me: "Yes, I go to Living Light."

OBG: "Well good for you! You don't want any ole guy anyways, you wanna man, ya know? Ya know the difference dontcha? Any ole guy will just do what he wants with ya, but a man, a man will love ya and cherish ya and take care of ya. That's what you want."

Me: "Yes sir, that is what I want."

OBG: "Well then, you just keep on lovin' on Jesus ya hear? The Bible says 'A man who finds a wife finds a good thing', but it don't say nothin' about a woman findin' a man. That's because woman's supposta be lovin' on Jesus with all they's heart and then a man will find her and it will be a good thing."

Me: "huh...I never thought of it that way."

OBG: "well you have a good day now ya hear, and have a great 4th of July!"

Me: "You too, thank you."



Random...

A Funny Thing Happened to me at the Grocery Store

So last night I went to dinner at Lisa’s and hung out with her for the evening (John was working til 10:30).



She asked me if I could pick up some chicken breasts and cumin since she doesn’t have a car and she needed them for what she was making. So I got off of work at 6:15ish, went home and changed and went to Pick ‘N Save.



I get the cumin and go to get the chicken breasts. There is a very good looking man also looking at the chicken breasts. I notice he’s not wearing a ring. I’m going back and forth debating the best purchase. Lisa said she needed about 4 chix breasts. There are only packages of 3 or 6. As I’m pricing them, I notice he’s doing the exact same thing. We sort of smile and say hi, as you do when someone is standing next to you looking at the same packages of chicken you are. He picks up the 3 pack, I pick up the 6 pack. Again we sort of smile and I say, “You know, the 3 pack is $6.49 and the 6 pack is only $8.04. Chicken freezes really well, it’s only a buck fifty more for 3 more pieces. This is the better deal if you’re interested.” He smiles and says, “You’re right, I’ll go with one of those packs as well. Thanks!” I just say “Sure!” and go about my shopping.

I look at the shampoo because I almost need some, but decide against buying it there because it’s way cheaper at Walmart. I go to the liquor department to buy a bottle of wine to have with dinner. Cute Guy is in the liquor department too. He smiles and says “Hi”, I laugh and say “Hello again”. Whatev…I pick out a bottle and get in line. He is in line right behind me. So there we are, standing in the same line with our family packs of chicken, me with wine, him with a 6 pack. We’re small talking about our chicken and alcohol. After I’m checked out, I’m bagging my few items. He finishes checking out and doesn’t bag his. We end up walking out at the same time. We’re both sort of looking at each other and laughing about our weird shopping experience. Turns out he was literally parked in the spot RIGHT NEXT to me. Again we just laugh, get in our cars and drive off.



I swear if I wasn’t a Christian I would have said, “Do you believe in fate? How about you just come over and have a drink while I cook us some chicken?”



I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!! These things don't just happen, do they???

LOVE THESE!!!

These clogs are GORGEOUS!!! I would love a pair.

The only problem is deciding which ones...my favorites are Kaleidoscope and Woodstock.

I think I'm going to start saving up for a pair!

http://theswanx.com/hand-paintedclogs.aspx

Convenience?

The bathroom lights at my work are motion sensored.

I can never decide if I like that or not.

On the one hand, it's one less thing to touch in a public restroom so you have more peace of mind that you're not unwittingly contracting swine flu, mononucleosis, dysentry or chlamydia.

But on the other hand, every time I'm doing my business (or if you prefer a little bank humor, making my "deposit"), I find myself fervently waving my arms around in the air like my life depends on it.

You see--the timers on these light sensors are set for approximately 5.2 seconds. So while you're in the middle of your thing, not only do the lights go off, but the fan with it. So then you're just sitting in the middle of the bank doing your deed and everyone will know it because there is no more noise reduction (or venthilation for that matter!).

And then, while I'm sitting there, waving my arms in the air like a maniac, in the public restroom at the bank, I start getting the giggles.

I swear my coworkers think I'm nuts.

I mean would you think you're coworker was crazy if every time she went to the bathroom you heard her laughing maniacally and when she came out of the bathroom she was out of breath and sweating?

You know...I think I'd rather risk flipping the switch.

Writing Exercises Pt.1

I've joined a writers group. I'm very excited about it too. Here are some of the exercises I've done in the past week or so.

~*~

Exercise One
(Write about a time you hid from someone)

I hid for a long time. Right in plain sight. I built my walls so high, and fortified them to be so strong, that nobody was able to conquer them. Oh I laughed and smiled with the best of them, but that wasn't really me. That was the persona, the girl I put forth to reassure them that I was alive and well inside. But I wasn't. Always the life of the party, I didn't have any real friends to turn to. Even family was shut out. You see, I had been hurt. Hurt bad. I was determined to never let that happen again. So I built my fortified city. Slowly at first, in the quiet of the night by candlelight. I'd plot and build. I'd consider every angle. What was the weakest part, what would people see, what would be the best way to prevent it all from happening again. And slowly, gradually, the walls went up. Slow and sure, I callused my heart until it was so hard you couldn't really tell what it was to begin with. And I hid in my fortified city, in the enclaves of my body, for years. I would only come out of my fortified city during the late hours of the night, because raspberry tea would never judge me, candlelight could never hurt me. I would gaze up at the moon for hours in my long, purple skirt and black tank top, dreaming, always dreaming of a time and place where I could be truly free.

~

Exercise Two
(Create a poem using this line from Emily Dickenson: “Bring me the sunset in a cup”)

Bring me the sunset in a cup
Bathe me in the watercolors of the sky
Show me loves unfurling
Wider than the sky, deeper than the sea
And I'll show you how rays of sunlight
can crackle into a thousand pieces
of laughter across a lifetime

*

Bring me the sunset in a cup
Let me drink from the depths
Where water and sun kiss
Bring me the sunset in a cup
Let me know the warmth
of the sun deep within
Bring me the sunset in a cup
Let me see how far you'd traverse to
Show me the depths of your love

*

Bring me the sunset in a cup
Capture for me thunder in a jar
Pull rainbows down from the sky
Bring me the dust of the moon
Direct lightening to my door
Corral the wind into my garden
Perhaps then I might consider your love to be true.

~

Exercise Three
(List 10-20 rules you've broken)

I have used mayonnaise past it's expiration date.
I have driven twice the legal speed limit.
I have put “Air Dry Only” items in the dryer.
I have worn blue and black together.
I have drank alcohol before I was of age.
I have laughed loudly in church and at the library.
I have become friends with the socially inept.
I have gone months without shaving.
I have made cookies without butter.
I have worn too many colors and patterns at the same time.
I have worn sunglasses on cloudy days.
I have mixed the water and the rice together before boiling.
I have steeped my tea longer than a few minutes.
I have taken aspirin on an empty stomach and without milk.
I have given my dog chocolate.
I have washed my “lights” and “darks” together in hot water.
I have not gone to college.
I have not test driven any of the cars I've purchased.
I have sat too close to the TV.

~

Exercise Four
(Write a pure dialogue story. No description. Just dialogue.)

“Hello.”

“Hello.”
“Nice weather today, eh?”
“I hate small talk.”

*

“Stop it.”
“Why?”
“You know I hate it when you flaunt your intellect over me just because you were valedictorian 13 years ago.”
“I do? I thought you loved it, you know, it was part of my charm.”
“No, I'd say it's more a part of your lack of charm”
“Now that's a comeback.”
“I told you to stop it!”

*

“So....I've been thinking, about the other day, you know?”
“At the diner?”
“Yeah.”
(pause)
“Okay...”
“Well, I was just thinking that I think I might know what it is you're looking for out of life.”
“And it's taken you 5 days to get the courage to tell me??”
“Well, yeah, umm...do you know Jesus?”
“I've gotta go to work.”

“Okay bye.”

*

“So Tom told me about something Henry was saying about Gina at work the other day. I mean, I hate to be such a gossip, but apparently she's been seeing Dean from accounting.”
“You have got to be kidding me! Dean?!? I thought he was married?”
“I know, he is! That's just the thing though, supposedly his wife is pregnant by some guy she met at the salon she goes to, and get this, he's a hairdresser!”
“A hairdresser?!? And he's not gay??”
“Tell me about it, I guess Henry thinks he's using Dean's wife as some sort of decoy, you know, to hide the truth from his parents.”
“Oh my god. Is that ice clinking I hear?”“Sure is! I just made a fresh pitcher!”
“I'm on my way, this is too good, I need to know more! Do you need me to bring the limes?”

*

“Hello, did you find everything you needed okay?”
“Sure, sure, thanks”
“Can I interest you in some of these AA batteries? They're on sale.”
“No thanks.”
“Are you sure? AA batteries can really come in handy.”
“No really, I'm okay, just the ice cream.”
“Well alright, but AA batteries are one of those things you always think you have and then one day little johnny's fire engine stops flashing it's lights and when you go to get the AA batteries you realize, 'oops! I guess I should have bought those AA batteries when they were on sale and that nice cashier recommended them to me'”
“Look jerk, my wife is in the hospital, our baby just died, she barely made it out alive herself. All she wants is the freaking rocky road ice cream. Little johnny's lights went out about 14 hours ago. If you really want me to buy the damn batteries because you're getting some sort of incentive for how many packs of half-dead-on-sale batteries you can sell to idiots like me, then go ahead, ring me up. Because I couldn't give a flying flip about your stupid sales technique. Just give me my ice cream and let me get back to my deflated wife.”
“Uhh...that'll be $5.84, just the ice cream.”
“Thank you.”
“Well...have a nice day!”

*

“I'm thinking of piercing my nose.”
“You'd really do that?”
“Sure, except it's against the dress code at work.”
“Then what's to think about?”
“Hey, I'm not letting the man keep me down!”
“Well, okay, but when 'the man' fires you, who's going to be keeping you, ya know...not down?”
“I thought you were my friend.”

*

“I know it's only been a month, but I was thinking of asking Jim out to dinner.”
“Why? Why would you do that to me?”
“Well it's not like we've been that great of friends lately. I didn't think it'd be a big deal.”
“Oh it's a big deal alright! Ask him out and we won't be great friends or even acquaintances ever again. I mean come on! You've been my best friend ever since our mothers shared a room on the birthing floor of the hospital! Why would you be so insensitive to me? You know he's the first guy I've ever loved.”
“Alright.”
“I'm so glad you've seen my point, I don't know what I'd do without you, lets never grow apart ever again, okay?”
“Umm..I meant that as in 'alright I'll never talk to you again'.”

~

Exercise Five
(Use all of the following in a short poem: “as dense as London fog”; “a slice of solace”; “like oil and water”; “wound the clock”; “receding as you please”)

Searching for a slice of solace
in the midst of the mall.
People surround me,
as dense as London fog.
Clastrophobic's and the mall mix
about as well as oil and water.
I can feel the oxygen in my chest,
tight as a freshly wound clock.
If only this crowd was like the ocean
before the tide comes in--
receding as you please.

~

Exercise Six
(Write a 16 line poem, rhyming or non-rhyming, about a moment from your childhood that changed your life for the better)

Ten years old
purple 10 speed bike
hot pink, yellow and orange
noise makers on the wheels

Now they will see!
All those boys in the neighborhood
will know that a girl,
(a girl!) will be the fastest on her bike!

Here we go.
25th Avenue.
The only brick road left in town.
Everyone falls on this road.

Steady. Ready. GO!
Wind whips, sun blinds
legs burn, boys yell,
girl wins!!!

~*~