Confession:
I rarely feel like an adult. It still feels like something I'm working towards.
This begs the question--is adulthood a place you simply arrive at one day, or is it a process, or is it even a bit of a myth? Does anyone feel like an adult? Or do we all feel like we're faking it?
I am coming up on turning 35, which is a "there's-no-doubt-about-it-you're-an-adult" age. But I still feel like a kid or teenager who's somehow just living as an adult. But why? I don't have my own place (I live with my brother, his wife and their 3 boys) but I do own a car (that is 100% paid off). Maybe it's just the year I'm having (see previous post)? I'm back working retail vs working in what I'd consider my career field, and my financial state has definitely taken a major hit. Or does it have to do with both of my younger brothers being married with kids and me having never had a serious relationship? Or because I've never lived more than 20 minutes from where I grew up?
Ultimately, whatever the reason, I am an adult. Perhaps the answer lies in insecurity. Maybe I need to just become confident with who I am. I spend so much time reminiscing about the past and daydreaming about the future, when maybe I should just be focusing on the now. Now I am an adult. Now I am on a "break from life" job-wise. Now I have time to focus on what I've dreamed of doing when I was in the 40 hour a week grind. So tonight instead of watching Netflix in my room by myself until it's time for bed, maybe I should do one of those things.
That's not to say that I won't still laugh inwardly when in decidedly adult situations. Heck, my grama tells me all the time that she feels exactly the same as she did in high school (on the inside anyway)!
