Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
My Tempestuous Affair With Writing
I am on vacation this week. I strategically planned it so that I am only taking 5 days vacation, but have 10 days off! Even though it's August 30th, it sounds so far away to say I don't go back to work until September 7th. September! Oh how I love that month! And October!
But I am getting off course...
I attended a writer's workshop this past Saturday. It was hosted by Sarah Cunningham. She is a published Christian author, currently has 2 books in print, and countless articles, blog posts, ect. I have never attended an actual writer's workshop before, and I must admit that I loved it! I feel so motivated and refreshed!
I've always considered myself a writer. I started journaling at age 7 (well, it was like 3 weeks before my 8th birthday, so I usually say when I was 8) and haven't stopped since. Poetry, short stories, I've always been writing something. But then, at the tail end of what you might call the most tumultuous years of my life came the absolutely hardest event of my entire life. And with it came some of the best writing I've every done. But that only lasted for 10 days. From October 29th-November 9th 2000, I wrote my best as I was at my worst.
And then came the wall.
I couldn't see over it, I couldn't see around it, I couldn't see under it. It was massive. It just came down from the sky one day and made it impossible for me to write. Oh I kept right on journaling, but that was it. Nothing else would come.
After about a year of bottled up creative frustration, I started watercoloring. Once that passed, I took up knitting. Then photography. Then card making. Then baking. Then jewelry making. I am a creative. I need to create.
And all throughout the past ten years, I've felt such a longing to write. The creative juices flowing, dammed behind that wall. How high would the waters rise before it was breeched and it would all flow from me again? How long would it take? Nothing offers the satisfaction of writing. Even though I did and still do enjoy many of my other creative outlets, none can touch writing.
There's a movie called Mixed Nuts. It's a dark comedy about suicide hotline workers. In this movie, there is a character named Felix. Felix is an artist, specifically a wall artist, a muralist. All throughout the movie Felix is frustrated that he has no outlet for his creativity. It causes him to fight with his girlfriend. He is a pent up frustrated artist. His girlfriend repeatedly says to him throughout the film, "Felix, you're an artist, just paint something!" to which he replies, "I'm not just an artist, I'm a WALL artist! And I have no wall!" I have really related to Felix these past 10 years.
All of this to say--last December I quit doing any and all creative things.
A last resort.
I have fought the wall in every way I know, so now, I do nothing.
Wait it out.
And this past weekend at the writers conference, something amazing happened. There was suddenly a crack in the dam. I can feel it in me. Things that are stirring and whirring up to life. Memories and thoughts that so long ago went into hibernation, are moving around within me, stretching and filling me.
And even more miraculous is that this has happened when I have an entire 10 days with nothing to do but let it out.
(That girl, she's got a hurricane brewing up inside her.)
But I am getting off course...
I attended a writer's workshop this past Saturday. It was hosted by Sarah Cunningham. She is a published Christian author, currently has 2 books in print, and countless articles, blog posts, ect. I have never attended an actual writer's workshop before, and I must admit that I loved it! I feel so motivated and refreshed!
I've always considered myself a writer. I started journaling at age 7 (well, it was like 3 weeks before my 8th birthday, so I usually say when I was 8) and haven't stopped since. Poetry, short stories, I've always been writing something. But then, at the tail end of what you might call the most tumultuous years of my life came the absolutely hardest event of my entire life. And with it came some of the best writing I've every done. But that only lasted for 10 days. From October 29th-November 9th 2000, I wrote my best as I was at my worst.
And then came the wall.
I couldn't see over it, I couldn't see around it, I couldn't see under it. It was massive. It just came down from the sky one day and made it impossible for me to write. Oh I kept right on journaling, but that was it. Nothing else would come.
After about a year of bottled up creative frustration, I started watercoloring. Once that passed, I took up knitting. Then photography. Then card making. Then baking. Then jewelry making. I am a creative. I need to create.
And all throughout the past ten years, I've felt such a longing to write. The creative juices flowing, dammed behind that wall. How high would the waters rise before it was breeched and it would all flow from me again? How long would it take? Nothing offers the satisfaction of writing. Even though I did and still do enjoy many of my other creative outlets, none can touch writing.
There's a movie called Mixed Nuts. It's a dark comedy about suicide hotline workers. In this movie, there is a character named Felix. Felix is an artist, specifically a wall artist, a muralist. All throughout the movie Felix is frustrated that he has no outlet for his creativity. It causes him to fight with his girlfriend. He is a pent up frustrated artist. His girlfriend repeatedly says to him throughout the film, "Felix, you're an artist, just paint something!" to which he replies, "I'm not just an artist, I'm a WALL artist! And I have no wall!" I have really related to Felix these past 10 years.
All of this to say--last December I quit doing any and all creative things.
A last resort.
I have fought the wall in every way I know, so now, I do nothing.
Wait it out.
And this past weekend at the writers conference, something amazing happened. There was suddenly a crack in the dam. I can feel it in me. Things that are stirring and whirring up to life. Memories and thoughts that so long ago went into hibernation, are moving around within me, stretching and filling me.
And even more miraculous is that this has happened when I have an entire 10 days with nothing to do but let it out.
(That girl, she's got a hurricane brewing up inside her.)
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Just Imagine...
If the whole world's population all laughed at the same time, imagine how loud it would be! People buckled over in laughter at the office, hailing a cab, in a rice field in Asia, in line at the local coffee shop. The instant bond of laughter connecting everyone, everywhere. Humanity in all it's hysterical glory! At the salon, lunch ladies serving mac & cheese, chain gangs working on railroads, tribal leaders in Africa, Eskimos, women in labor, baseball players mid-game, I'm talking everyone in the world.
Can you see it? Pilots, workers at the DMV, bicycle messengers, surgeons, people out mowing their lawns, Oprah in the middle of her talk show, librarians, families mid pre-dinner prayer, everyone around you at Target, the North Koreans! World leaders, politicians, rich, poor, black, white, laughter erupting from everyone in all walks of life at the exact same time.
The sheer volume of it would likely jump the earth off its axis! An overwhelming cacophony of wind over water, a hurricane of laughter.
People who were fighting and angry are suddenly holding on to each other to steady their balance as they're hunched over trying to catch their breath, lawyers in court presenting their case suddenly ridiculously uncomposed doubled over with laughter, policemen clinging to the car door of the person they've just pulled over; crying and turning red in laughter! Everyone stuck in traffic, everyone who moments ago were terrified, bored, angry, sleeping!
I think it would be a lot like when you go into a sold out comedy movie. At first you're minding your own business, trying to be courteous of everyone so closely seated next to you. But after two hours of ab tightening laughter, you're suddenly connected to those around you. You walk out of the theater laughing with them, quoting the funniest parts of the movie. On your ride home you laugh to yourself at how great everyone at the theater was.
Now imagine that on such a grand scale. Everyone in the entire world feeling that camaraderie with their fellow man. All of us laughing and slapping each other on the back, holding one another up as we're all teetering on the edge of ourselves, about to be lost forever in the comedic abyss. Hands on knees, heads thrown back, belly laughing, busting a gut, howling at the moon laughter.
A whole world of heeheehee's and hahaha's and hohoho's. The high pitched hyena laughers, the deep belly laughers, the cackling Wicked Witch of the West laughers, the mouth wide open silent laughers, the dolphin-like staccato laughers, the old granny laughers, the I've been smoking all my life wheezing laughers, the gigglers all laughing, hysterically, joyfully, honestly out and out laughing!
Someone once said they'd like to buy the whole world a coke, well I'd like to buy the whole world a good 5-10 minute laugh.
Preferably at the exact same time.
Can you see it? Pilots, workers at the DMV, bicycle messengers, surgeons, people out mowing their lawns, Oprah in the middle of her talk show, librarians, families mid pre-dinner prayer, everyone around you at Target, the North Koreans! World leaders, politicians, rich, poor, black, white, laughter erupting from everyone in all walks of life at the exact same time.
The sheer volume of it would likely jump the earth off its axis! An overwhelming cacophony of wind over water, a hurricane of laughter.
People who were fighting and angry are suddenly holding on to each other to steady their balance as they're hunched over trying to catch their breath, lawyers in court presenting their case suddenly ridiculously uncomposed doubled over with laughter, policemen clinging to the car door of the person they've just pulled over; crying and turning red in laughter! Everyone stuck in traffic, everyone who moments ago were terrified, bored, angry, sleeping!
I think it would be a lot like when you go into a sold out comedy movie. At first you're minding your own business, trying to be courteous of everyone so closely seated next to you. But after two hours of ab tightening laughter, you're suddenly connected to those around you. You walk out of the theater laughing with them, quoting the funniest parts of the movie. On your ride home you laugh to yourself at how great everyone at the theater was.
Now imagine that on such a grand scale. Everyone in the entire world feeling that camaraderie with their fellow man. All of us laughing and slapping each other on the back, holding one another up as we're all teetering on the edge of ourselves, about to be lost forever in the comedic abyss. Hands on knees, heads thrown back, belly laughing, busting a gut, howling at the moon laughter.
A whole world of heeheehee's and hahaha's and hohoho's. The high pitched hyena laughers, the deep belly laughers, the cackling Wicked Witch of the West laughers, the mouth wide open silent laughers, the dolphin-like staccato laughers, the old granny laughers, the I've been smoking all my life wheezing laughers, the gigglers all laughing, hysterically, joyfully, honestly out and out laughing!
Someone once said they'd like to buy the whole world a coke, well I'd like to buy the whole world a good 5-10 minute laugh.
Preferably at the exact same time.
Eyeliner Magic
Every time I get a zit on my upper lip I am ridiculously tempted to color it in with my eyeliner. Then I'd look just like Cindy Crawford, or some other mole sporting famous woman. I've tried it once or twice, just for fun, washing it off before leaving the house. It's amazing how different a mole on your upper lip can make you feel. I felt...empowered.
Weird I know.
But you should try giving yourself a mole on your upper lip and see how it feels. You suddenly feel tres chic. French woman sexy.
Trust me.
The only reason I haven't worn this in public is because I imagine a scenario like the one in Robin Hood: Men In Tights.
"Wasn't your mole on the other side of your face?"
But then I would get to quote that classic line and make the poor schmuck who asked me turn beet red--
"I HAVE A MOLE?!?!?"
Weird I know.
But you should try giving yourself a mole on your upper lip and see how it feels. You suddenly feel tres chic. French woman sexy.
Trust me.
The only reason I haven't worn this in public is because I imagine a scenario like the one in Robin Hood: Men In Tights.
"Wasn't your mole on the other side of your face?"
But then I would get to quote that classic line and make the poor schmuck who asked me turn beet red--
"I HAVE A MOLE?!?!?"
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Miracle Polish!
All my life I been back and forth with nailpolish. I like it when it's on, but it chips so easily, the upkeep of it, the way it screams "I'M HIGH MAINTENANCE" to the world, not to mention I usually fudge it up before it even dries. Usually there's one month out of every year decide I'd like to start wearing nailpolish again and then it just does not last very long. The filing, the clipping, the cuticle cutting! What a horrible way to spend an evening.
This past March was the month of this year I decided to try wearing nailpolish again. It was a sunny week and the first warm breeze blew threw my hair and I just knew I had to go buy a fun spring nailpolish. And it was there, gentle reader, in the nailpolish aisle at Walgreens, that I discovered a miracle polish. It is called Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Fast Dry Nail Color. I fell in love. The difference this time, is that I'm still in love with it! I've been painting my nails for about 6 months now and have yet to get tired of it!
Normally I go for the bright colored nailpolish:
Snappy Sorbet
Mint Sprig
Mango Motion
Blue Blast
Sonic Bloom
Racin' Red
Lively Lilac
This past March was the month of this year I decided to try wearing nailpolish again. It was a sunny week and the first warm breeze blew threw my hair and I just knew I had to go buy a fun spring nailpolish. And it was there, gentle reader, in the nailpolish aisle at Walgreens, that I discovered a miracle polish. It is called Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Fast Dry Nail Color. I fell in love. The difference this time, is that I'm still in love with it! I've been painting my nails for about 6 months now and have yet to get tired of it!
Normally I go for the bright colored nailpolish:
But now I have discoverd Expresso. My current favorite color. It annoys me that Sally Hansen spells espresso wrong, but then again, she continually brings me the best colors of nailpolish, so I can get over it.
Expresso
And I am so sorry that this is the best picture of it that Google would find. It isn't as pink as it looks here. I don't know how to describe it other than a mauvey brown. My brother Luke says it looks like a grama nail polish, but all I know is it makes me feel like a lady.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
This is what I'm thinking about right now
1. I think I would like one of those "aquarium" things on my blog like Heidi has. Feeding those fish is mindless, brain numbing fun.
2. I feel the urge to purge coming on. I wish it would cool off for a few days so I could accomplish this instead of laying on my bed with 8 fans blowing on me.
3. This is scary, but I would like to go to a foreign country. Preferably Italy, Greece or Ireland. Someday. (someday is a nice scapegoat on the end there)
4. I can't believe I've gone 5 weeks, 3 days without coffee. I miss it a lot. Then again, I'm still drinking tea, so that's nice. I should invent a Teamericano. Then everything would be perfect.
5. I need more non-Christian friends. But how? Are they all just hanging out somewhere? I accept this quest, maybe bumblingly, but I accept it nontheless.
6. I would like my own kitchen. Not sure what to do about that one.
7. I am so excited that July is almost over because that means it's almost August and after August comes September. And after September comes AUTUMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that means hole-ing (sp?) up at home, making soups and stews and baking yummy things, chilly evenings, crisp mornings, colored leaves, dark lipstick, dark nail polish, dark nights, wearing orange and brown and navy and green and eggplant purples, scarves, sweaters, bonfires, apple cider, pumpkin beer, pumpkin coffee (tea?), pumpkin lotions, pumpkin candles, pumpkin breads, cakes, pies, rolls, pumpkin seeds, not to mention plain old pumpkins. *sigh*
8. I should switch the office decorations. It's still the 4th of July in here. And seeing as I'm the only one around here who cares about window clings and the general look of the place, I should do that soon.
9. The oldies station is a great guilty pleasure of mine.
10. I'm struggling to think of a tenth thing I'm thinking of, but it seems a nice round number so--nope. Nothing's coming.
2. I feel the urge to purge coming on. I wish it would cool off for a few days so I could accomplish this instead of laying on my bed with 8 fans blowing on me.
3. This is scary, but I would like to go to a foreign country. Preferably Italy, Greece or Ireland. Someday. (someday is a nice scapegoat on the end there)
4. I can't believe I've gone 5 weeks, 3 days without coffee. I miss it a lot. Then again, I'm still drinking tea, so that's nice. I should invent a Teamericano. Then everything would be perfect.
5. I need more non-Christian friends. But how? Are they all just hanging out somewhere? I accept this quest, maybe bumblingly, but I accept it nontheless.
6. I would like my own kitchen. Not sure what to do about that one.
7. I am so excited that July is almost over because that means it's almost August and after August comes September. And after September comes AUTUMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that means hole-ing (sp?) up at home, making soups and stews and baking yummy things, chilly evenings, crisp mornings, colored leaves, dark lipstick, dark nail polish, dark nights, wearing orange and brown and navy and green and eggplant purples, scarves, sweaters, bonfires, apple cider, pumpkin beer, pumpkin coffee (tea?), pumpkin lotions, pumpkin candles, pumpkin breads, cakes, pies, rolls, pumpkin seeds, not to mention plain old pumpkins. *sigh*
8. I should switch the office decorations. It's still the 4th of July in here. And seeing as I'm the only one around here who cares about window clings and the general look of the place, I should do that soon.
9. The oldies station is a great guilty pleasure of mine.
10. I'm struggling to think of a tenth thing I'm thinking of, but it seems a nice round number so--nope. Nothing's coming.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
So here's the thing about summer...
Everyone wants to wear sandals right? Break out the flip flops! I'm with you, all the way!
That I get.
What I don't understand is this--
Why must we exfoliate our feet?!? When did this happen?? I never exfoliated/shaved off my calluses before adulthood. But now it's all about "cute" feet. The problem with "cute" feet is that once you've soaked, exfoliated, shaved off your calluses and lotioned up your feet(you have to apply lotion after you've done all that other stuff because once they're nice and smooth, you don't want your feet looking dry do you?!?), you nearly kill yourself walking down the carpeted stairs, or down the carpeted hall for that matter! You mop the kitchen floor and you'd think sombody used Pledge on it as you slide your way to the fridge for that midnight fudge bar! And not only that, but then when you are walking around outside barefoot, you step on a pebble that's barely visible to the human eye and you'd swear you just stepped on Everest. Whereas if you'd have kept your feet in their natural, callused state, you could run across blacktop at noon in the middle of July with the best of them. Not to mention you could walk down the stairs without your arms out on both walls and clinging for dear life, just so someone somewhere might say you have "cute" feet instead of someone somewhere saying you have horribly ugly callused feet. Which are the more practical of the two??
So the next time you're tempted to scrape the calluses off your feet, just remember--would you rather have a pea sized rock in your shoe and be in infinite pain, or would you rather have a pea sized rock in your shoe and not realize it until you take your shoes off at the end of the day and the rock falls out?
As you're contemplating this, I've got to go find my dang PedEgg, I've got a party to go to tonight.
That I get.
What I don't understand is this--
Why must we exfoliate our feet?!? When did this happen?? I never exfoliated/shaved off my calluses before adulthood. But now it's all about "cute" feet. The problem with "cute" feet is that once you've soaked, exfoliated, shaved off your calluses and lotioned up your feet(you have to apply lotion after you've done all that other stuff because once they're nice and smooth, you don't want your feet looking dry do you?!?), you nearly kill yourself walking down the carpeted stairs, or down the carpeted hall for that matter! You mop the kitchen floor and you'd think sombody used Pledge on it as you slide your way to the fridge for that midnight fudge bar! And not only that, but then when you are walking around outside barefoot, you step on a pebble that's barely visible to the human eye and you'd swear you just stepped on Everest. Whereas if you'd have kept your feet in their natural, callused state, you could run across blacktop at noon in the middle of July with the best of them. Not to mention you could walk down the stairs without your arms out on both walls and clinging for dear life, just so someone somewhere might say you have "cute" feet instead of someone somewhere saying you have horribly ugly callused feet. Which are the more practical of the two??
So the next time you're tempted to scrape the calluses off your feet, just remember--would you rather have a pea sized rock in your shoe and be in infinite pain, or would you rather have a pea sized rock in your shoe and not realize it until you take your shoes off at the end of the day and the rock falls out?
As you're contemplating this, I've got to go find my dang PedEgg, I've got a party to go to tonight.
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